I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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