i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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