our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
