U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
