So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
