One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
