so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
