My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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