So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
