I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
