he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
