i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
