This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I don't think brook has ever known best
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
