I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
