elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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