He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
