btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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