weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
