Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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