my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Redeem this text for a blowjob
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
