Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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