so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
