i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
