Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
