my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
