i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
