im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
