never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
