if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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