Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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