Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
