she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
