you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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