the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
