this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
