the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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