Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
