Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
