Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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