I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
