i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Randomize
