So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
