Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
