doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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