we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
should my penis look like a turkey
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
