Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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