After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
