Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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