I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
it was like eating out sand paper
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
