Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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