Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
