like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
