Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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