is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
